Today’s workplace is a constant flow of information across a wide variety of formats. Every single communication must be understood in the context of that larger flow of information. Communication is built upon a foundation of emotional intelligence. Simply put, you cannot communicate effectively with others until you can assess and understand your own feelings. And when engaging in a heated dialogue over email or other written medium, don’t be too hasty in your replies.
It’s helpful to have some go-to small talk questions in your back pocket. This way, you’ll always know how to carry a conversation when you’re chatting with someone for the first time. A first date is a mixture of nerves and excitement, and it can be helpful to have some first date conversation starters up your sleeve to avoid awkward silences.
They help you quickly learn about someone and discover shared interests, often leading to deeper, more meaningful conversations. Whether you’re meeting someone new on your street or mingling at a local event, these conversation starters help break the ice and build friendly, everyday connections. When Jessica Hunt, a therapist in California, wants to instigate a conversation, she asks the other person to share what they’re reading, listening to, or watching.
Under each topic are a few sample questions to get you started and to help you think of other questions. But remember that these are just the beginning of the questions you can ask. There are many more possible questions for each topic. Come up with your own questions based on their answers or from your own creativity. And if you need even more topics and questions check out our interesting conversation topics page for a few more.
Interesting, Deep Conversation Starters
- I promise you can get good at conversing with others and be able to easily stay away from boring small talk.
- Some people are naturally smooth talkers or social butterflies and have no problem initiating conversation with anyone they meet.
- Be careful about making jokes that will be perceived as insensitive.
- Shift from “what do I ask?” to “what’s interesting about what they just told me?” — that reframe helps more than any list of questions.
- Don’t treat someone you have a crush on any differently than your other acquaintances and friends.
Use conversations with new people as practice for improving your skills. The ECCP intervention was focused on married couples, but its principles can be translated to a variety of less intense situations. Let’s say you’re seated next to someone you’ve never met at a dinner for supporters of a local cause. The chances are good that you already have things in common, so make it your goal to find out what they are, and let the conversation evolve around these solid talking points.
When Should You Use A Conversation Starter?
In Steps 2 and 3, I’ll talk about how to keep in touch with someone you’ve talked to before. These questions can be used to get to know someone new at wingtalks.com work, in school, at a party, mingle, or at dinner. You can use this method whenever you want to start a conversation.
When you’ve asked your question, you can follow up with another question, as explained in Step 1 above. In general, it seems that girls make a bit more small talk online, and guys are more to the point — less communication overall, and more interesting or funny links. You can do that by sending memes, interesting links, or songs you know someone might like. If you’re talking on WhatsApp, you can send them audio messages to mix things up, but keep them short. Rather than trying to keep a long conversation going online, message people as a way to keep the connection going until you can meet up. This doesn’t apply to everyone, but MOST people don’t like to make neverending small talk over text or chat.
